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Your Wedding Day is NOT About your Wedding Photographer

Your wedding day is not about your wedding photographer

I’ve been having a lot of connection calls with wedding couples who inquire with me about being their wedding photographer lately. I love having connection calls because it allows us to meet face-to-face (over a video call, that is) to get to know each other a bit better, and, let’s be real, to make sure we’re real people! During these calls, I take note of any common questions or notions that pop up so that I can make sure to provide this information upfront from the beginning. One topic that has popped up a couple of times this year so far has been this notion that a wedding photographer rules the wedding day, makes it all about the photos, and interrupts the natural moments that unfold.

I wish I could say I’m surprised that this has come up so often, but I’m always relieved that couples raise their concerns like this during our connection calls so that I can address them! I feel very passionate about this topic, and the simple answer I provide to inquiring couples is that your wedding day is NOT about your wedding photographer. I wanted to take the time to address this topic further in a blog post for you to elaborate more on my perspective, and to also to share more of my values as your wedding photographer - and a human - with you. 

Your Wedding Day Is About You

First and foremost, I want to make it clear that your wedding day is about you and your partner. Everything about your wedding - the music, the food, the photography - should lead back to you and your partner. Plain and simple. Your wedding day is, after all, a celebration of you and your partner vowing a lifetime of love together. Because of that, I’m a big believer that every aspect of your wedding day should feel intentionally chosen by the two of you, carefully curating a celebration that reflects you two, your personalities, and your love story. Every detail should feel so much like you! Every photograph should convey your love, your happiness, your interests, and what makes your love unique to you. Your food should be delicious plates that you two actually enjoy! The music blasting on the dance floor should be the tunes you two adore listening to, without a shortage of scream-all-the-lyrics-because-I’m-obsessed songs, too! If anyone ever tries to tell you that your wedding day is about anything other than you and your partner kicking off your marriage in a way YOU want to, then they’ve lost sight of what a wedding is truly about, in my opinion. 

Your wedding day is not about your wedding photographer

Where’s The Disconnect?

When I hear couples mention to me how they don’t want their wedding day to cater to the wedding photos, but rather have their wedding photos cater to their wedding day, I couldn’t agree more! It begs the question: where’s the disconnect? What has made this a concern that couples want to clarify before their big day? 

I cannot stress how grateful I am that the couples I connect with talk through their any and all wedding related concerns they may have because it gives me the chance to agree with them, and to elaborate on the issue at hand. I do think this is a problem within the wedding industry where some wedding vendors may take charge a tad too much, and ultimately interfere with the vibe of the day, the schedule drastically, and honestly take away from the moments the couple should be experiencing. Granted, I’m so glad to have worked with SO many wonderfully talented, professional, and kind human beings who work in the wedding industry, yet I have still come across a few vendors who are so focused on their job that they lose sight of why they are there, at this beautiful wedding, in the first place. It makes me so sad to see! I can’t speak for all wedding vendors, but what I can say is that I truly love my job. I love having the opportunity to document different love stories, and help couples treasure their wedding day for a lifetime through the moments I freeze in time for them. I put myself in your shoes and think about what photos mean the most to you and your partner - not just what standard photo list I think will be meaningful to capture. I customize my approach to your wedding day, and consider where I stand during your ceremony so that I don’t distract from the moment that’s taking place.

Sure, I help create a wedding day-of timeline with you to ensure all the photos you want to have get taken. Yes, I do take charge during family photos if you’re wanting traditional, smile-at-the-camera photos with your family so that you don’t have to call out everyone’s name and get them in place. But these photos - these planned moments - are intentionally scheduled into YOUR day! I happily move things around to ensure the day flows the way you want it to, and to make sure we’re not spending too much time on your wedding day taking portraits. Why? Because I know that you invited your favorite family and friends to attend, and I know that was for a reason! You want to hang out with them! You want to soak up your just-married high with your new spouse! You want to eat cake and dance the night away without worrying about abiding by a schedule! Everything I do on your wedding day is for you and your partner, and I try to be a fly on the wall as much as possible so that you two can focus on soaking up all the loved up feelings!

The disconnect comes in when a wedding photographer - or any wedding vendor for that matter - does their own job and focuses on that first, rather than keeping the focus and priority on you and your partner throughout your wedding day.

Your wedding day is not about your wedding photographer

How To Prevent The Problem with your Wedding Photographer

Now that you know about the problem, and what generally causes it, it’s time to shift your focus to preventing the disconnect from happening so that your wedding day isn’t all about the photos, but instead, all about you! 

The first thing is to talk about this with your wedding photographer, and, quite honestly, with your other wedding vendors, too! Vendors should all offer, or at least be willing, to hop on a quick call with you when you inquire about their services. If they don’t…it’s a red flag. Connection Calls, as I like to call them, are so vital in getting to know one another, and finding out if you’d be a good fit working together! I always offer Connection Calls from the moment couples inquire, and I always make time for them. 

Once you’ve agreed to have a call, I highly suggest creating a list of questions or topics you’d like to run by your photographer/wedding vendor. If you’d be interested in a complete list of questions to ask your wedding photographer, let me know so I can create a blog post or a free resource to help you out! Once your list of questions is written and you're prepared for your call, approach your Connection Call with curiosity! Ask any and all questions you may have, and please don’t ever be afraid or feel annoying asking follow up questions! This call is for YOU to gauge if you’d be a good fit with your photographer/wedding vendor, so ask away! I personally LOVE when couples come to the Connection Call with questions to ask because it helps me know they’re serious, and that they know what they want out of their wedding day experience. 

Your wedding day is not about your wedding photographer

During this call, be on the lookout for a few things:

  1. That your photographer/wedding vendor answers your questions

  2. Whether or not you feel comfortable talking to them/liking their personality - you’re going to be around them A LOT on your wedding day, so you should definitely enjoy their company and get along!

  3. Ask what their process/approach is like on a wedding day! This can give you incredible insight into how they work, and what their focuses will be on the big day. 

If you leave the call feeling energized, excited, trusting, and like you’ve made a new friend, then it’s a great sign that your wedding photographer/vendor is a great fit for you! 

If you leave the call feeling like the interaction was strange/uncomfortable, like they dodged your questions, or like they’d just be focusing on getting the job done and that’s it…well, then it may be worth connecting with some other wedding photographers/vendors to find a better fit. 

And hey, I’m not saying I’m going to be the perfect fit for everyone! That sounds like an impossible task! But what I can personally promise you is that I approach each call with kindness, openness, and a desire to get to know you and your partner better. I will always treat you like you’re my friend because, truthfully, I wouldn’t want to approach meeting you any other way! I lead with my heart, always, and I adore leaving a call feeling energized, giddy, and excited about your wedding day! I think all your dream team of vendors should feel that way after speaking with you, too!

Your wedding day is not about your wedding photographer

In conclusion, you should never feel icky about the wedding vendors you work with. Your wedding photographer - and your wedding vendors as a whole - should add to your wedding day, not distract or dictate it. 

What questions do you have about this topic? Married couples - do you have any advice on how you found your dream team of wedding vendors? I’d love to hear from you about this!

If you're looking for a wedding photographer who is on the same page with you, I'd love to chat with you (and set up a Connection Call 😘)! Get in touch today so we can become friends and bring the wedding of your dreams to fruition!

Happy planning!



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